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Individualizing

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Individualizing our Children's Unique Needs.              There was a mom with six children when I was growing up that would drop her children off to compete for a swim team. I was a competitive swimmer and I loved to swim. Some of her kids did not however.  All six children though would show up to swim practice and then she would pick them up after it was done. A few of the children were around my age and they spanned about twelve years and so some were older and some were younger. A couple of the children hated to swim and sometimes they would hide in the locker room and not even make it into the pool. The girl who was my age once told me that her mom has stated that this is what we are doing because it's good for you. She continued to explain that she didn't  have a choice and while her brother and her didn't like it, her our older siblings did and so it was simply easier for her mom to just keep it the same for all of us, so we ...
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Motivation

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 Motivating without Bribes      How to keep incentives healthy as we try to motivate our kids  We all feed off of rewards and I don't think that's always a bad thing but when it interferes with our ability to discern right from wrong, and to make choices simply because it's the right thing for us - that can be a dangerous dependency between doing it simply because you get something out of it and not just when you should. This is not just a kid problem. As I was studying the reading and pondering on my own life, this is a continuous problem with adults as well. Adults don't want to help because they are too busy, unless they get something out of it. Employers often incentivize externally with "Employee of the Month", and bonuses based on performances. Adult seek out bribes and sometimes they are healthy but sometimes they are not. Spiritually, we also look at incentives. We want to have eternal life with our families. We want to be able to have access to import...
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Nurture

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What it means to Nurture a Child  My son has Autism. He is verbal. He is very intelligent but he still is different and has many needs. Typically when I meet someone that is getting to know my son, Logen, I get a few different reactions. The first reaction is pity. It's not mean. It is well-intentioned pity, but it is still pity. They want to just give Logen a free pass and let him do whatever. Even though the other kids may have to earn something, they hand him the reward right away because they feel bad and they know it's harder for him. The second reaction I sometimes get is fear. After they know he has autism, they don't want to approach him because they are nervous on what he might do or what they might say because they don't know how to respond. That unfortunately makes Logen and me, as the parent feel alone. The third reaction, I sometimes get is someone who smiles and is excited to understand Logen's needs. They still set Logen for success with peers or othe...
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